Research
working with
Grief
Exploring how grief is experienced by neurodiverse individuals
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We welcome you to take part in Stage 1 of our project: this involves answering a few, short questions which will be anonymised. This information page will try to answer any questions you might have about the project.
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Why am I being invited to take part? The knowledge and insights you can share with us will be vital in shaping our approach to carrying out this research. The most powerful information we obtain is the information young people, their parents, carers and teachers share with us. This information helps us understand an overview of how grief is experienced by individuals.
Who is carrying out the research? A small team of compassionate and experienced colleagues from The Wildheart Foundation and The Firefly Project teams will work together. We will engage with participants and one another, in a professional, friendly manner, addressing this topic with sensitivity and warmth.
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Why are we doing this research? We hope to determine how grief is experienced, supported and understood, to discover what could be done differently to help people dealing with grief. To help us with this, we are interested to find out more about young people’s, parents, carers and teachers' experiences of communicating with each other about the topic of grief.
To take part in this research, we invite you to answer a few, short questions, if you feel comfortable to do so.  All responses, however brief, are valuable and will be anonymised.
If you would like to take part please find the links to our surveys below.
If you have any further questions or if you would like to find out more about different types of Grief please contact: kelly@thewildways.org.uk
Here are the different kinds of loss that can lead to Grief
The Grief of Losing Someone or Something You Love
What it means: When someone or something important to you is gone, it hurts.
Examples: Your pet passes away, a close friend moves away, a friendship falls apart, someone close to you dies, or your parents get divorced, moving house or country.
From our co-designers: Hope for the future. Youth. Health. Parts of our identity. Ourselves. Connection and the deeper meaning between people. Homes. Jobs. Childhood toys. Relationships. Sentimental items that connect us to special people we lost. The friends we saw every day after school. Security, comfort. Our childlike wonder. Places. Moments in life. Our childhoods. Our bodies.
The Grief of Places in Life That Were Never Nurtured
What it means: Feeling sad about things you needed but never got.
Examples: Wishing you had a more supportive family, more friends, or opportunities others had.
From our co-designers: Not being seen as a child. Shadow sides. Not being able to express your true thoughts and emotions. Positivity and empathy were viewed as a weakness. Abuse. Dysfunctional family. My wild animal self. Parts of ourselves that have not been tended to. The post education confusion (not yet an adult but no longer a child). Internal family systems. Inner child. The home. The true authentic me. My body image. Self-esteem. Childhood homes. Our soul. Post-accident recovery; lack of community. Parts of our body that we don’t show love to. Bad friendships.
The Grief of the Problems in the World
What it means: Being sad or angry about big problems in the world.
Examples: Seeing homelessness, climate change, or unfairness in school or society.
From our co-designers: How the lack of kindness in some individuals overshadows the kindness in others. War. Lack of empathy. Greedy world leaders. Not growing as a species. Child labour. Suffering. Longing to come together, but how? Unsure how to enact change. Escapism. Trying to go against the world. The media. Politics. Violence against girls and women. Racism. Religion. COVID. The law, police. Isolation through social media. Conflict. Genocide in Palestine. Loss of true purpose. Chemicals. Plastic. Loss of agency for humans and animals. Forced displacement. Power imbalances. Inequality.
The Grief of What We Expected but Didn’t Get
What it means: Feeling disappointed when life doesn’t go the way you hoped.
Examples: Not making the sports team, not getting into your dream school, or losing a relationship.
From our co-designers: The perfect family. Friends. Purpose. Innocence in childhood. A mother who acts like a mother. Guidance. Leadership. Encouragement. Tactile touch/ hugs/ holding. Belonging. Community/ village. Job promotion. Safe birth. Healthy home. Understanding and comfort from educators. Happiness. Support. Secure home environment. Being let down by those I trust. Lasting friendships from school.
The Grief We Carry That Isn’t Ours Alone
What it means: Ancestral grief: Feeling pain passed down from family or your community.
Examples: Growing up in a family with struggles, carrying stress from past generations, or feeling the weight of your culture’s history.
From our co-designers: The family I never met; my dad’s loss, looking like my ancestors. False history, not recognising the true heroes (spiritual or other cultural ancestors). Long history of oppression. Loss of culture. Mental health issues that were not addressed. Loss of language. Passed down addiction. Violence (by state or citizens). Low self-esteem within family. Unable to reach true potential due to lack in family. Death by unexpected accidents. War and its effect on the family. Family security lost. Unspoken rules around not talking about feelings in the family. Coming to terms with patriarchy, racism, colonialism.
The Grief of the Harm We Cause to Ourselves and Others
What it means: This grief comes from the pain of harming ourselves or others, whether through our actions, words, or mistakes and the sorrow of being hurt by others or the world.
Examples: Harm to Ourselves: Negative self-talk, self-destructive habits, or not taking care of ourselves. Harm to Others: Saying hurtful things, breaking trust, or being unkind.
From our co-designers: Believing in the harsh words of others. Valuing societal opinions over myself. Things that I said but didn’t mean, things that I wanted to say but didn’t. The harm I caused to myself and others through my disease of addiction. Anger that is unkind to others. Self-harm. Self-deprecation. Attachments that are so strong they crossed boundaries and hurt me and others. Addictions. Hiding our feelings or concerns from others because of shame. Evil thoughts towards myself. Ignoring bodily needs and signs. Staying in an abusive relationship. Insecurities. Self-obsession. Communication issues in the family. Fear of showing emotions. Expectations of others. Worries about how we are perceived by others. Not letting ourselves feel our grief or trauma. Judgement. Lack of compassion. Self-isolation. Passing on of self-limiting beliefs. Seeking support from others who can’t give it. Harmful behaviour from a place of confusion. Resentment.
💜 If you are experiencing Grief, we are here to help 💜
